For a few rupees more

For a few rupees more

What's with all this effigy-burning in the Indian sub-continent? The last controversy I mentioned here was the Shilpa Shetty outcry in India which, you might remember, involved the famous Bollywood [...]

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Power Stations to Burn Meat

Power Stations to Burn Meat

Some headlines just grab you, don't they? What?? Yep, there it is on the front page: Plan for power stations to burn meat. It seems this is part of the [...]

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My gift to loyalism

My gift to loyalism

Watch carefully now. This is what the loyalist politician of the future – or even the decent loyalist in the street – will be using for all his daily requirements. [...]

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How I quit smoking and lost weight

How I quit smoking and lost weight

I stopped smoking four years ago. I used to have three cigarettes in bed before I got up. I used to wake up in the middle of the night and [...]

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Your Own Personal Tinker

Isn't it terrible the way the Environment Fascists have taken over the country? These days, you can't burn a pile of tyres in your garden any more. When you're finished [...]

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Bar Staff

Jimbo gave me a shout. Will we go into town for a pint? Town? Are you mad? It'll be full of aggressive drunk fuckers. Ah no. We won't bother with [...]

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Holding a grudge

Holding a grudge

I had a great idea for turning grudges into money. It's a business idea, and I expect to get a huge amount of cash from the Government in the form [...]

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Christmas Toys

Christmas Toys

Well, it's been a long hard road, but they're finally here. My new range of action figures will be in the shops for Christmas, and I'm hoping every little girl [...]

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Dead Accountants’ Society

Did you know that the late Kim Il Sung is still President of North Korea? Isn't that great? I told Gonad the Ballbearian about this last week, and he jumped [...]

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Community Policing

I got another call from Wrinkly Joe, just this evening. An excited call. Excited, elated and proud. You see, Joe has always been a firm believer in the concept of [...]

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