In a petulant, and completely unreasonable, fit of pique I told Joe the builder to fuck off, and then I stood there looking at a half-completed kitchen and wondering what [...]

I'm like a bastard at the moment. A headless bastard. I'm running around like a headless bastard with no purpose, no direction, no plan and of course, no head. Why? [...]

After reading Mr Warmington's charming piece on his Super Panther lawnmower, my conscience began to attack me, in a vaguely collapsed-Catholic kind of way. Look at that grass, Bock, it [...]

I don't know if I mentioned to you that I've been doing a bit of a job on the old house over the last while. Did I mention that? Maybe [...]

All home improvement programmes are terrible, but Irish ones just seem to go one step further in awfulness, for some reason, and I can't figure out why. Is it because [...]

I now have Kitchen 2.37 running well, and without too many bugs, though I still require a good number of plug-ins to complete the installation. Did I tell you I [...]

This will disgust you, or at least I hope it will. It certainly disgusted me. With any luck, it might even make you vomit. Over the past few days, I've [...]

Somebody asked me if I was going to christen the new kitchen, and I said, yes, I was going to call it "Dermot". I think this has great possibilities, and [...]

I seem to have been building this kitchen for about eighteen years now, and I don't know when I'll be finished. I'm hoping to have most of it complete within [...]